Wow. The sight of the "blogger" block is...intimidating. You know the one I mean. The one where you click on "new post" and BAM there's the big. blank. block. It's a canvas every blogger uses to paint their piece of beauty into the world. Well... I can't promise anything beautiful. Everything in me that has a glimpse of beauty comes from an echo of the God that says I'm Beautiful. It comes from the longing for something beyond myself and the world as I know it. I've glimpsed beauty, the heart of Love, and it's my goal to pursue it.
What's your heart's goal?

Blessings,
Forever Alive

Hey guys! Decided to move my thoughts to tumblr. The tumblr system is a lot more "me", so hopefully you will hear more from me over there! lol My new blog is called Hope's Journal. Come visit! Merry Christmas! :)

Solider of Light

And the hauntingness of it all...
To behold a light that leaves you grasping
For something beyond yourself,
Is the realization of
something never fulfilled
by human error.
For if to love is gain,
Then to die is to
Commit to a
World fallen.
What will possibly complete the void?
Use the light, dear
Solider!
And be a martyr for thy cause...
Of Masters Love,
Undoubting love,
Of purist Light.
Giving glimpse into
The haunting reality
Of it all...
For a world desperate for
A Solider of Light.

Loving God is to gain, dying spiritually is to commit your heart to this dying world. This poem is about dying for Love, God's Love, which is the purist light for our naturally dark hearts. To die to oneself, in His name is the ultimate gain. When we experience God, it makes us realize how empty we really are without Him. Others need to see this light of Love. Be His Solider, and show others Him!

Favorite Quotes

"She blazed, burned herself out, and then disappeared into the silent deep, sounding the echoes of remembrance throughout a hollow and shattered heart."
- from When Crickets Cry

"During the days of Jesus' life on earth, He offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to The One Who could save Him from death, and He was heard because of His reverent submission."

~Hebrews 5:7~

"But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever,
The purposes of His heart through all generations."

~Psalm 33:11~

"If this day
Could rewind,
I'd take it back
And let you shine
More than me."

"Honey, never love a musician,
Cause you'll never break away.
His face may disappear,
But his music in your heart stays."

"What, pray tell, has a higher clearance than the cranium within your individual's possession, canine?
English: "What's up, dog?!"

"I’m a dreamer in life and alive in my dreams. If I’m alive in my dreams then dea...th isn’t all that it seems. It’s for dreams that I long to sleep and if I can still dream then my body, sleep can keep. However, if life is a dream come true and my dreams all center around you, then take my body, my dreams and my sleep, I am all yours to keep, my desire is you and my dreams taught me that this notion is true."

~Rick Elmore~

"Back then I didn't realize that you can't live for God until you learn how to live because of God. And you can't go and make good decisions for God until you undestand the Gospel that says 'Your choices don't make you who you are. ("Where you end up doesn't make you who you are.") What Christ did for you makes you who you are.'

"We're not struggling to be free, for when we are in Christ we're free to stuggle.

(Because what you've done doesn't make who you are- you are more because as Christians we are the sum of our Father's Love for us.)

"I am a bum, and I need a Savior."

~Mike Donehey~

"Faith is putting the mountains back into the mountain-maker's hands."

"Music is passion that reflects our souls."

"Grant us reprieve from the fighting so we
Could just rest our head on the shoulder
Of the One we're at odds with,
And oh so glad
For a moments rest.
Weeping, knowing we have been touched.
Weeping, knowing we have been touched.
We have been touched.

"Glory and honor
Wisdom and power
Grace and fury
Splendor and might
Matchless beauty
Endless light.

"Here with You,
Oh my oh calm is You.
Oh my only thought is You.
Oh my happiness is You.
To be with You.
~Daivid Crowder Band~

How We can Know God

How we can know God

Wow tonight's axis youth group was sooo epic! My youth pastor, Dan, first started out with helping us see the point that "Religion is always man's response to the God he thinks he knows". Whatever our posture is in prayer, worship, paradigms, the way we respond to Him, etc, is our response to God in the way we think we know. But we are called to a solid relationship with Him, to be sold out with no middle ground of gray. To be in a relationship we have got to love, of course! And you can't really love someone you don't know, otherwise you are loving someone who isn't there, which isn't loving them at al!. To know God, we have to have the connector of our intimacy with God, the Holy Spirit. The Spirit inside us is the one who gives Christians the passion that calls to God crying "Abba Father!!". Then we can have a relationship with Him, because the Holy Spirit bring to "inlifeinment" the facts of "enlightenment" the church gives us. The Spirit then fully teaches us Who the really One True God is. Then we went over the "Three 33mm ways to know God (points made from Jer. 29:11-13, isaiah 66:22, and Ps. 27:8).

I'm very excited. I learned a lot I already knew in a deeper way tonight!

" I want to know You.
Let Your Spirit overwhelm me.
Let Your presence overtake my
Heart." <3

Edited Me*

Vulnerability

Isn't what it used to be

A time to grow up

A time for change.

Because being just me

Can bring on pain.

Which do you want,

'Mam

The edited or me?

The latter will cost you,

But the first one is free.

Free of the "awkwardness" you would feel

From listening to my thoughts,

Or from feeling that I may effect the "coolness" you've caught.

Because if you spent time with the me

I'd be the one

That you'd call the freak.

"Impaired from portraying the

Superciliousness you seek."

So what do I do?

Just throw me away?

And hope that a "normal" me

Comes up someday?

But wait-

To please you,

To be someone you'd love

I'd have to have nostrils

Catching rain from above.

Yes you see me as a misfit.

But there are others like me.

Others who are wild, creative, original and free.

Free of your sham glam

Free of your prim.

And if you ask me,

I'll be one of them.

So NO you can't have the

Edited me.

Because I'm made better than that,

No one gets me free!

*This is something I wrote a little while back. Looking back on what I wrote, I know that this could come off as if spoken in a frustrated tone. Well, really, it was sad, but anger is best expressed on paper, eh?

I think I've found my hidden talent! Hemp jewelry making.

These are pictures of my favorite- the orphan bracelet. It's called orphan because none of the beads match.

I'm hoping I could make enough to start selling them. What do you think?

These are some other patterns:

These are the different catches:

They definitely have a beachy feel. I can see me now...carrying my beads and hemp string with me everywhere! haha. We'll see how it goes.

Like Jesus

The moment everyone in Jesse's family had been waiting for had arrived. Although everything had been kept as secret as possible, everyone knew why the prophet Samuel had come: to choose and anoint the new king of Israel. Six Jesse's son walked past Samuel, each more impressive than the last. Finally, Samuel had made his decision. Who would it be?? The intensity electrified the room like and uncontrollable invisible force. At last, Samuel reached for his flask of oil to anoint the new king. Suddenly, Samuel stopped, as if he were listening to someone.

 "But God told Samuel, "Looks aren't everything. Don't be impressed with his looks and stature. I've already eliminated him. God judges persons differently than humans do. Men and women look at the face; God looks into the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7)

Samuel put down the jar, turned to Jesse, and asked him, "Do you have anymore sons?"

Maybe you know the rest of the story. The father Jesse happened to remember David, and had him called in from the field, where he was tending to the sheep. Although youngest, David was chosen to be king.

1 Samuel 16:7 is one of my favorite verses. I may be seen as too enthusiastic. Someone may have a lot of piercings and tattoos. Maybe you have a personality "quirk" or look that is contrary to what people expect. But you know what? God isn't looking at that. He's looking at your heart. And ultimately, only His opinion matters.
What exactly is your heart? Your heart is the container of you thoughts, standards, viewpoints, opinions, ideas, concepts, loves, hates, desires, and beliefs. And don't get me wrong. Most times your appearance is a reflection of what's going on inside your heart, but other times, appearance is only a hiding game for what you really are. God sees through all the masks and get right down to business: what exactly is going on in your heart.
As Christians, it's not our job to judge others. I don't mean to not judge that actions of a person as right or wrong. We need to discern actions and be careful of being mislead. John 7:24 says, "Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgement." I can't count how many times I have judged someone as stuck up because they are quiet or preppy, mean because they dress goth, threatening because of a lot of tattoos, or a alcohol/crack addict because of red eyes or black teeth, the list goes on. I probably sound paranoid, but I'm sure that if you thought about it, you could possibly come up with your own list of paradigms. The thing is that, when I've actually taken the time to get to know these people I've judged, I'm usually wrong. :p It's my job to love others no matter what, like Jesus did. Besides, what is my judgement (putting others in unfair or extreme catagories) other than the result of measuring people to MY expectations? Something to think about.
What about when others judge ME? My first inclinations are to either to fit in, rebel, or despise the judgers. But this thought made me stop: to think about the fact that judging people is a sin, so to it's my greater responsibility to not judge(look down on) them back, but to love them through it! Maybe I lost some of you, but this thought blew me away!
So I will say adeu for now, now that I have almost ran out of words! I hope this made you think about loving others like Jesus and loving the people who try to look down on you. I leave you with these thoughts, hoping that you will have a greater understanding of them now, as I am coming to know.
Romans 2:1-3
"Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things. We know that the judgment of God rightly falls on those who practice such things. Do you suppose, O man—you who judge those who practice such things and yet do them yourself—that you will escape the judgment of God? "
Luke 6:37
"Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”


God knows me inside and out-and loves me anyway! :)